Election Blues (#3) and a Global Pandemic

Seeing as we’re all stuck at home for the near future (and possibly the far future as well) I feel it is both my duty, and my salvation (for someone who can’t even stay home from work on vacation days, keeping busy is a must), to entertain everyone with a blog post. I know they’ve been pretty infrequent for the last few years, but that may change if the world remains shut down.

First, some updates about my life:

I have officially finished my Master’s degree and have started my PhD in biomedical science (shockingly without any serious bureaucratic hurdles). I am also engaged to a wonderful man (ha, I bet most of you had already given up on me) though making wedding plans right now is an exercise in futility. My original plan was to wait until the next election day in 6 months or so and have a nice day wedding, but it seems we might have to wait for the election day after that.

Also my poor giant lug of a cat Johnny is sadly no more. He got cancer last Passover and I had to put him to sleep. It took me an entire 2 months to acquire another cat. His name is Oliver and he’s a little over a year old. Meaning he’s still at the stage where he runs around knocking stuff over and causing general mayhem. Luckily he sleeps at night (usually on my person) and doesn’t wake us up. Too often.

Now some updates about Israel:

I just reread my last blog post about the first of what became a series of 3 elections. I had to laugh at my naiveté at thinking that we would all go vote, someone would win, and then we’d have a government (as good or bad as that government might be). Alas, 3 elections later and I’m not sure we have a government yet. I’m not actually positive since the news coverage is focused almost exclusively on the current global pandemic and only mentions the Knesset to tell us which MK is mad at which MK today. In fact, I would go so far as to say that probably no one really even cares at this point about the politicians unless they’ve caught the coronavirus and have spread it to us.

Now some updates about the world:

Don’t panic, but we are currently in the midst of a global pandemic (never mind that the word panic is already in the word PANdemIC). I myself thought I had the coronavirus last week, but it turns out that the symptoms of an anxiety attack are very similar to those of COVID-19, but much more transient (it went away a few hours later after I calmed down). I looked it up and the only number you can call if you have a suspected case of coronavirus is MDA. So I called them and the conversation went something like this:

Me: I think I need to be tested for coronavirus. I’m having trouble breathing and I’m coughing.

Yitzhak from MDA: have you been exposed to someone with a confirmed case of the virus?

Me: not that I know of, but anything’s possible. I work in a hospital and take public transportation.

Yitzhak: If you haven’t been exposed, then it’s not corona. Go to the doctor if you’re not feeling well.

Me: …. are the doctors testing for corona now?

Yitzhak: no. But if you don’t feel well, you should go to the doctor.

Me: …. so you don’t want to test me for corona?

Yitzhak: you don’t have it. You haven’t been exposed.

Me: how can you be certain of that? Do you know where all 300+ infected people have been 24/7 since they were infected? Isn’t it possible that I crossed paths with one of them without knowing?

Yitzhak: No. The health ministry knows exactly where every one of them has been, and you would know if you’d been exposed. Since you work in a hospital, you should know this.

Me: (in my head: “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard”)

Me: (outloud:) ah.

Last week my roommate got an update that she had been at a Purim party with someone who later tested positive for the virus. She got this message a week and a half after Purim (an impossibility according to Yitzhak from MDA). So she was essentially quarantined for 4 days having missed the first week and a half. By day 2 of quarantine she had cleaned almost every surface in the entire apartment. I fully expected that by day 3, the walls would all have a new coat of paint, and that by day 4, we would have a new room attached to the apt, where there had never been one before. Alas, still a 4 room apt, but one can dream.

However, after staying home for several days in a row, I have a new understanding of cats. Their journal entries must look something like this:

Day 578 of home quarantine:

I ran around around the house singing and knocking stuff over. I won a fight with the laundry hanging out to dry. It will think twice about starting up with me again. I watched the birds outside for an hour until I got bored. Then I napped cuz there was nothing else to do and I was tired from running around the house.

On the bright side, a lot of people are going to get their Passover cleaning done early this year.