Monday, November 12, 2018

Cats in Conferences


I suppose work conferences can be hit or miss affairs, depending on where they are, how packed the schedule is, and how much you like your coworkers. I have successfully managed to avoid every departmental “retreat” on the grounds that I need to take care of my cat, but actually because I can’t imagine anything more horrible than spending 3 days doing team building exercises (which is what I assume is happening at these retreats) with all the professors in my department and listening to lectures about self fulfillment and fungi.
However, 3 days in the Queen of Sheba hotel (5 stars) in Eilat (can anyone say VAT free shopping???), all expenses paid, with a gym, pool, spa, and gourmet food on offer 18 hours of the day? Well, I’m not a complete idiot. The other option was actually going to work and working. The only catch? Lectures for almost as many hours as food was available. There was also a poster viewing session, in which I took part. I would not normally sign up for extra work, especially since I’m not convinced that anyone particularly cares about what I’m working on besides me and my boss, but he talked me into it. So I designed a poster and got stuck answering questions about it to the few professors my boss guilt tripped into coming over and pretending to look interested while clearly scoping out the snack table behind me.
The first day started with a 5 hour drive down to Eilat, signing in, and dinner (a bona fide feast). Then a lecture session after dinner. Which was interrupted by some cats in the ceiling. I imagine this happens often at 5 star hotels. The last lecture was interrupted by a power outage (or someone who got fed up with the incessant talking and wanted to go to sleep). We then had a “dance party” (euphemism for a bunch of old people flailing their limbs to the beat. Well, almost to the beat). This also happened to be the day of my 30th birthday, and the day that I learned that I’m older than some of the PhD students. So I drank some wine, laughed at the people trying to dance, and went to bed.
The next day started at 9:00 am, with lectures and poster sessions all day until 8 pm. Obviously, most people snuck out for at least a few hours. The cats stuck in the ceiling were possibly the only ones who didn’t. I definitely saw the people from the lab next door to mine slinking out of the hotel in bathing suits with a surf board.
That was the evening I made the fateful mistake of buying an Asus laptop from Machsanei Chashmal. I had ordered a laptop from Bug, to be picked up in their branch in Eilat (again, tax free), and was told that there was a 95% chance that the laptop would make it there on time. I’m sure we can all guess what happened, seeing as my life has a very definite pattern. So I walked into the first electronics store I passed, and they happened to have one laptop left of the model that I wanted. It had been in the display case but hadn’t been used, and the very pregnant store clerk checked it out and made sure it worked before selling it to me.
Well I’m sure we can all guess what happened to the laptop, based once again on the pattern of my life. It was sent back twice, the first time only a month after purchase. Dealing with the Asus Israel costumer service, the delivery company (who repeatedly called me at 1pm to ask if I was home so they could pick/return the laptop), and the repair company Asus uses is a story in an of itself, but bottom line- buy an Asus only if you enjoy conflict and frustration. And throwing expensive electronics out the window.
But back to the conference. All in all, I’m not really sure why the conference was held in Eilat considering they seem to have forgotten to schedule any significant amount of time IN Eilat, or at least the part of the city that exists outside the hotel. Frankly I’d have been just as happy to drive 5 minutes to a hotel instead of 5 hours as long as there was food and no scorpions in my bed (army story). But perhaps this was a strategic move to prevent us all from escaping. It certainly worked on the cats.

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