I suppose
work conferences can be hit or miss affairs, depending on where they
are, how packed the schedule is, and how much you like your
coworkers. I have successfully managed to avoid every departmental
“retreat” on the grounds that I need to take care of my cat, but
actually because I can’t imagine anything more horrible than
spending 3 days doing team building exercises (which is what I assume
is happening at these retreats) with all the professors in my
department and listening to lectures about self fulfillment and
fungi.
However, 3
days in the Queen of Sheba hotel (5 stars) in Eilat (can anyone say
VAT free shopping???), all expenses paid, with a gym, pool, spa, and
gourmet food on offer 18 hours of the day? Well, I’m not a complete
idiot. The other option was actually going to work and working. The
only catch? Lectures for almost as many hours as food was available.
There was also a poster viewing session, in which I took part. I
would not normally sign up for extra work, especially since I’m not
convinced that anyone particularly cares about what I’m working on
besides me and my boss, but he talked me into it. So I designed a
poster and got stuck answering questions about it to the few
professors my boss guilt tripped into coming over and pretending to
look interested while clearly scoping out the snack table behind me.
The first day
started with a 5 hour drive down to Eilat, signing in, and dinner (a
bona fide feast). Then a lecture session after dinner. Which was
interrupted by some cats in the ceiling. I imagine this happens often
at 5 star hotels. The last lecture was interrupted by a power outage
(or someone who got fed up with the incessant talking and wanted to
go to sleep). We then had a “dance party” (euphemism for a bunch
of old people flailing their limbs to the beat. Well, almost to the
beat). This also happened to be the day of my 30th
birthday, and the day that I learned that I’m older than some of
the PhD students. So I drank some wine, laughed at the people trying
to dance, and went to bed.
The next day
started at 9:00 am, with lectures and poster sessions all day until 8
pm. Obviously, most people snuck out for at least a few hours. The
cats stuck in the ceiling were possibly the only ones who didn’t. I
definitely saw the people from the lab next door to mine slinking out
of the hotel in bathing suits with a surf board.
That was the
evening I made the fateful mistake of buying an Asus laptop from
Machsanei Chashmal. I had ordered a laptop from Bug, to be picked up
in their branch in Eilat (again, tax free), and was told that there
was a 95% chance that the laptop would make it there on time. I’m
sure we can all guess what happened, seeing as my life has a very
definite pattern. So I walked into the first electronics store I
passed, and they happened to have one laptop left of the model that I
wanted. It had been in the display case but hadn’t been used, and
the very pregnant store clerk checked it out and made sure it worked
before selling it to me.
Well I’m
sure we can all guess what happened to the laptop, based once again
on the pattern of my life. It was sent back twice, the first time
only a month after purchase. Dealing with the Asus Israel costumer
service, the delivery company (who repeatedly called me at 1pm to ask
if I was home so they could pick/return the laptop), and the repair
company Asus uses is a story in an of itself, but bottom line- buy an
Asus only if you enjoy conflict and frustration. And throwing
expensive electronics out the window.
But back to
the conference. All in all, I’m not really sure why the conference
was held in Eilat considering they seem to have forgotten to schedule
any significant amount of time IN Eilat, or at least the part of the
city that exists outside the hotel. Frankly I’d have been just as
happy to drive 5 minutes to a hotel instead of 5 hours as long as
there was food and no scorpions in my bed (army story). But perhaps
this was a strategic move to prevent us all from escaping. It
certainly worked on the cats.
