Thanks to two quarrelsome cats, I was apartment hunting a few months
earlier than I had anticipated.
I started cruising the Yad2 website again to see what kind of
apartments were available in which neighborhoods for what price
range. I was debating between finding an apartment and then looking
for roommates who don’t mind cats and finding a room in an
apartment where they don’t mind cats. I was also aiming for a place
that was not too far from work or at least on one of the bus lines.
The one and a quarter hour trip to work, via 2 buses and a train, was
driving me crazy. Not to mention the unexpected
road/tunnel/checkpoint closures that occur between Ma’ale Adumim
and Jerusalem, and the daily traffic on the way to the central bus
station within Jerusalem.
I contacted a few people to arrange to see available apartments in my
price range, either 2 or 3 bedrooms. The first place I saw was a
really nice apartment not far from Yad Sarah and Sha’arei Tzedek
Hospital, a relatively easy journey to work. The family had made sure
to let me know that due to the government earthquake proofing
construction plan, there was a lot of construction going on in the
area. What I didn’t realize until I got there to look around, was
that the construction was going to be in the building. On the
apartment. For 4 months. Which explained why the family was leaving.
I decided however, that I want to live in a construction zone for 4
months as much as they want to live in a construction zone for 4
months and passed on the apartment. The visit wasn’t a total waste
though since I got to pet their adorable Labrador.
The second apartment I went to visit was in Katamonim. The building
itself appeared to be in the process of decomposition. Things were
dripping from the walls outside and pieces were hanging off the sides
(hopefully not important pieces). The woman who answered the door was
the tenant who was moving out and had no idea who I was or why I was
standing there. Apparently the landlord expected her to show me
around but hadn’t informed her that I was coming. The apartment was
in complete disarray, the entire floor and the remaining furniture
were covered with what was obviously the contents of the furniture
and all shelving units and cupboards. There was a pungent odor coming
from the kitchen, from underneath a pile of heaped up garbage. She
gestured to where the oven allegedly was but it too was hidden
underneath piles of various and sundry household items.
The third place I looked at in Talpiot was being shown by a realtor.
It was not advertised as such on the appropriate section of the real
estate listings so I did not know this until the realtor replied to
my message. I didn’t really know what this entailed although I
assumed there would be some fee involved on my part if I wanted the
place. After setting up a time to meet and then changing it 3 times,
she arrived late to the apartment, and made me sign a bunch of
documents before she even let me into the apartment. Which is good,
because she couldn’t remember which apartment it was. There were
three apartments on the floor; she tried opening two of them with the
key she had and then gave up and called her coworker to ask which
door it was. I had already figured out which apartment it was based
on the process of elimination but her brain had not yet made that
connection. When she finally did let me in, I was speechless. Why she
thought anyone would be willing to pay an extra month’s rent as a
realtor’s fee for an empty apartment inhabited only by pigeons, I
can’t imagine. She showed me around a bit after she finished
shrieking and waving her arms around at the pigeons. The place could
most kindly be described as a dump. Missing toilet seats, sockets and
wires hanging out of walls, a window in the living room looking out
onto the pipes of the service shaft in the center of the building.
The pigeon poo did not help matters. Obviously the owners had been
unable to rent out the place themselves, so had decided to try to
rent it out with the help of an air headed real estate agent. I had
enough experience with old unrenovated Talpiot buildings in the past
to know that I was not in the least interested. Waking up every
morning and thanking G-d that your ceiling has not yet collapsed upon
you as you slept is not a prayer anyone should have to say.
That was the last straw. This spiraled into a deep depression on the
literally deteriorating state of apartments in Jerusalem for
reasonable prices.
I decided to try my luck with people in already established
apartments looking for roommates. My logic was this: a) If people are
already living there, there must be a minimum of furniture in the
apartment, at least enough for functionality; b) The apartment is
probably at least somewhat livable, otherwise there would be no one
living in it. This seemed like sound logic. And so I began the next
stage of my research.
It turns out there are some 20 odd Facebook groups dedicated to
helping people find apartments or roommates or sublets, etc. in
Jerusalem. There are groups for apartments/roommates in Jerusalem in
Hebrew, groups in English, groups for kosher apartments, groups for
inexpensive apartments, groups for apartments in Rechavia, groups for
apartments in Baka, groups for apartments in Rechavia/Baka, etc. A
friend offered to add me to a few groups. Three minutes later I was a
member of about 10 different Facebook groups. I quickly discovered
that there are no groups for apartments looking for a roommate with a
cat. This was obviously an oversight on someone’s part.
I posted on a few of the more relevant groups that I was looking for
a kosher apartment, but that I also have a cat. I even uploaded a
picture of Johnny, because who can resist that face?! The responses I
got were either from people who already had a cat, or from people
tagging a friend who already had a cat. I was forced to amend my
original post with “Cat does not get along with other cats!”
Unfortunately cats are not like children. You can’t put them in a
room together and expect them to being playing peacefully with Legos
when you come back. The most you can hope for is a relatively low
bill for damages and no need for a vet visit.
I messaged a bunch of people with promising apartments and asked them
how they felt about cats. The response was overwhelmingly negative. I
started to take personal offense at people’s obviously misguided
perceptions of felines. This spiraled into a deep depression on the
deteriorating state of humanity.
